Dear Etiquette Moms Newsletter Subscriber:

Today's newsletter shares an email from a frustrated symphony goer, specifically about how to handle people who cough during symphonies and other public  events where quiet is expected.

Here is what he writes....

"I have had a pet peeve since I was 11 years old and started going to symphony concerts - and this pet peeve has become more of an obsession in later  years: Why is it that people cannot control their coughing in the middle of a classical music concert? To me it is totally disrespectful, shows a total lack of self control, and consideration of others. Recently, I thought about getting a sponsor (like a lozenge company) to promote throat  lozenges to those who have a cough issue...
handed out at the start of a concert at no cost. To me it is absurd that people don't have enough  control of themselves to not cough at inappropriate times - I can understand someone with a health  issue - but they should STAY HOME! If you do chose to attend, you better respect  the other attendees as well as the performers. If  someone coughs within my reach I tell them in no  uncertain terms...to STOP or leave. I think I will wear a 'Cough-Nazi' outfit."

What are your thoughts on this matter?

Here is my response to this writer:

I certainly sympathize with your predicament and I  concur! Of course you are correct; coughing, hacking, throat clearing, and other annoying and disgusting guttural clamor is better left on the TB ward.

The reason we practice etiquette is to make others feel comfortable, relaxed and at ease; hacking up a  lung while listening to a Chopin concerto or removing a frog during Rachmaninoff certainly doesn't make one's fellow concert goers contented.

However, while I do feel your pain, the number one  rule of etiquette is to never correct another's  manners. I am afraid that policing the audience and shushing the rude is, well, rude. Why not just hand out that lozenge to the cougher and say nothing? Instead  of appearing the Nazi, you look like Mother Theresa!

Unless the person is a dufus he will certainly take your hint and hopefully excuse himself!

As always, I welcome your thoughts on this matter, and cordially invite you to get Certified with us
as an Etiquette Trainer (for children, teens, and/or adults) at http://www.etiquettemoms.com.

Have a great day!

Warm regards,
Elena Neitlich
President
Etiquette Moms
http://www.etiquettemoms.com