This week's etiquette news is about culture wars. Talk show host Laura Ingraham is talking a lot about how filthy and vulgar popular songs are these days. She's right. In this email I want to share
with you why she is right, but also talk about two rays of hope -- including their inspiring lyrics.

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Laura Ingraham's logic is unassailable. If you go through the Billboard Top 100 songs, most of them are filthy. Katie Perry sings about the vulgar things she did Friday night. Another pop artist talks about her love of a certain fetish, and of certain smells in the air. Still others detail every bodily function and animalistic act you can think of, and some you probably couldn't. You can click on song titles and Google them with the word "lyrics" following the title to get the facts and do your own research. Do it on an empty stomach.

Do you remember great kid's book Ramona the Pest? In it, Ramona asks her teacher why books don't mention it when their characters go to the bathroom. The teacher replies that it's not necessary information and so the author leaves it out. Now, Ramona is in kindergarten and so we can cut her some slack for asking an innocent question.

Meanwhile, it seems that the pop world is filled with singers who think like Ramona, but are into their late teens and early twenties, and haven't learned a lesson meant for kindergarten kids. We don't need to know about every urge, intimate act, or other private thing the singer does or fantasizes about doing. It's not interesting or necessary, and it doesn't make the world a better place. Do these singers think they're the first to discover all of this stuff?

Fortunately, there are a very few glimmers of hope on the pop charts. As etiquette trainers and parents, we can help direct kids to make smart choices about what they listen to, and what they don't. They might not take our advice, but every attempt sinks in a little -- and shows that we care.

For instance, in the song "Just the Way You Are," Bruno Mars writes some uplifting lyrics:

"Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are"

Similarly, kudos to Selena Gomez for her song "Who Says," which includes these motivational words:

"...when it comes to me
I wouldn't want to be anybody else...
I'm no beauty queen
I'm just beautiful me...
You've got every right
To a beautiful life
( C'mon! )
Who says you're not perfect
Who says you're not worth it...
Who says you're not star potential
Who says you're not presidential
Who says you can't be in movies
Listen to me, listen to me
Who says you don't pass the test
Who says you can't be the best
Who said, who said
Won't you tell me who said that
( Yeah, WHO SAID!? )"

Those are the only two examples I could find out of the whole Billboard Top 100, but at least there is some hope out there.

We all create the culture together in the messages we support, the messages we send, and what we teach our kids. Keep taking a stand for the values you want to see in our world!